My Apple Can't...

1. Record digital sounds from a line-in source, such as a microphone or a synthesizer.

2. Capture DV video from a camera or recording deck.

3. Connect to any type of Firewire device. At all.

4. Support more than two USB devices without severely weakening the data transfer speed.

5. Play DVD's from foreign countries.

6. Connect to a monitor.

7. Be inspected by Best Buy employees or other computer-knowledgeable individuals... if it gets broken, I have no choice but to make an appointment at the Apple store, sit in line for a half hour, and have to re-schedule because I was a few minutes late.

8. Support port upgrades... or new video cards... or sound cards... in fact, I can't customize this piece of shit at all: Apple would sue me.

9. Play video games without a partitioned hard drive and an application that allows a Windows OS to run on an otherwise shitty computer.

10. Let me do what I fucking want to do. I can't make movies with it, I can't record audio with it, I can't play video games with it... it's pretty much only good for Facebook.

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In case you couldn't tell from the "Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate My Computer" list up there, I'm frustrated.

I was given a very peculiar musical instrument for my birthday that I've been messing with for a few days now: it's called a Stylophone. It's basically a synthesizer that's played by tapping a stylus on a metal keyboard with a large amplifying device. It's pretty interesting, actually, and I've gotten fairly decent at playing the thing. I've also learned how to create little chip tune loops with my Gameboy, which compliment the Stylophone nicely. However, I CAN'T RECORD ANY LINE-IN AUDIO WHATSOEVER WITH MY STUPID MAC.

That's right, because of the Macbook Pro's shitty line-in port, the only way I could ever transfer sound from my Stylophone or Gameboy to my computer would be to record it with the built-in microphone.

Eew. No.

Likewise, while my new Sony Professional HVR-A1U camcorder records in glorious 1080i, 30FPS HD footage, there is absolutely no way to transfer footage onto this blasted contraption than to use a different computer to capture the tape, put it onto my external hard drive (the only chunk of computer equipment I own that doesn't seem to suck) and work from there.

Not good.

Anyway, other than my computer troubles, things are pretty okay. Waiting for the jeweler's lens I ordered to arrive... that's going to be nice! Oh, and I found a fantastic new band. It's a Norwegian all-girl gypsy/folk/punk group called Katzenjammer. Trust me, you've just got to hear it to believe it.

So yeah, that's me... but how are you?

Streaming, Fucking Monkey Brain Chaos

Aha! The first blog entry of the new year! Huzzah!

Things have been happening much too quickly the past couple of days. By that, I am referring to my speed from the perspective of the world around me: my brain just hasn't been functioning for the past 2-3 weeks.

This is probably a result of playing video games for hours on end (A copy of Muramasa: Demon Blade has at last come into my possession, not to mention Dragon Age Origins and Pokemon Fire Red) and skipping out on my medications for... the entire month of December. Not a wise decision by any means. Driving a car while off my medication is... scary, to say the least.

But that is beside the point! Happy New Year to everyone who reads the fucking blog!

2009 was a long, long year for me. I learned a lot, and changed a lot, too. It was a year of immense happiness, abject misery, and everything in between. I experienced some of the greatest moments and feelings of my entire existence to date, as well as some of the lowest points I've hit so far.

I guess every year I get a little less stupid.

(I wrote a pretty sizable lump of text here, but fuck that.)

This is odd... I'm taking kind of a stream of consciousness approach to my blog entry, or at least more so than usual, and it's taking me all over the place. I don't really have anything to talk about: the advent of 2010 and I'm still single. Logic dictates that I'm better off fending for myself, that a girlfriend would only slow me down and cause unwanted stress, and maybe it's just that everyone seems to be happily engaged in a relationship, but I would kill for someone special. My mindset should change once I get back to school and rendezvous with my single dudes there, but right now life without a girlfriend is hell. It's just an inherent human reproductive stability issue combined with mimetic motivational displacement (fancy words for a film major). I should be over it in a couple months.

My stupid monkey brain wants me to fuck someone and make babies, and my emotional insecurities demand that I find a significant other to feel complete. Destruction of my emotional addiction to love over time, as well as a great deal of porn, ought to do the trick.

And, wouldn't you know it, a miracle! Please dear viewer, disregard everything I've just said... that chick from my focal point class is now single on Facebook. I don't know what the situation is, or what exactly happened between her hot-shot, sexy-as-fuck British film-critiquing boyfriend, but this could be an opportunity.

Wow. It's sad how desperate I am for hope... but I'm not ready to consign to the skeptic's lifestyle just yet! I've still got a decade to build up my bitterness!

(Sorry everyone, this post is a mess! I promise I'll take my medication next time! And if you haven't seen my Christmas video yet, check it out!)