Aha! The first blog entry of the new year! Huzzah!
Things have been happening much too quickly the past couple of days. By that, I am referring to my speed from the perspective of the world around me: my brain just hasn't been functioning for the past 2-3 weeks.
This is probably a result of playing video games for hours on end (A copy of Muramasa: Demon Blade has at last come into my possession, not to mention Dragon Age Origins and Pokemon Fire Red) and skipping out on my medications for... the entire month of December. Not a wise decision by any means. Driving a car while off my medication is... scary, to say the least.
But that is beside the point! Happy New Year to everyone who reads the fucking blog!
2009 was a long, long year for me. I learned a lot, and changed a lot, too. It was a year of immense happiness, abject misery, and everything in between. I experienced some of the greatest moments and feelings of my entire existence to date, as well as some of the lowest points I've hit so far.
I guess every year I get a little less stupid.
(I wrote a pretty sizable lump of text here, but fuck that.)
This is odd... I'm taking kind of a stream of consciousness approach to my blog entry, or at least more so than usual, and it's taking me all over the place. I don't really have anything to talk about: the advent of 2010 and I'm still single. Logic dictates that I'm better off fending for myself, that a girlfriend would only slow me down and cause unwanted stress, and maybe it's just that everyone seems to be happily engaged in a relationship, but I would kill for someone special. My mindset should change once I get back to school and rendezvous with my single dudes there, but right now life without a girlfriend is hell. It's just an inherent human reproductive stability issue combined with mimetic motivational displacement (fancy words for a film major). I should be over it in a couple months.
My stupid monkey brain wants me to fuck someone and make babies, and my emotional insecurities demand that I find a significant other to feel complete. Destruction of my emotional addiction to love over time, as well as a great deal of porn, ought to do the trick.
And, wouldn't you know it, a miracle! Please dear viewer, disregard everything I've just said... that chick from my focal point class is now single on Facebook. I don't know what the situation is, or what exactly happened between her hot-shot, sexy-as-fuck British film-critiquing boyfriend, but this could be an opportunity.
Wow. It's sad how desperate I am for hope... but I'm not ready to consign to the skeptic's lifestyle just yet! I've still got a decade to build up my bitterness!
(Sorry everyone, this post is a mess! I promise I'll take my medication next time! And if you haven't seen my Christmas video yet, check it out!)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
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Hey Andrew, I feel your pain, last year I was deeply deeply depressed for a great deal of the year, I'm hoping to end that now. I've also been single my whole life, so... take that!
ReplyDeleteThanks Connor! I didn't realize how depressing this post was until I re-read it. See, this is what happens when I keep to a regular posting schedule as opposed to only posting important things!
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